ahhh poetry?

these subtle words
meaningless to some, but strongly powerful to me
i am numb. i am lost, yet i still find time to fake a smile
countless times i fall upon what seems like broken glass
crying out to whatever higher devine prescence that is my flavour of that particular week
as my thoughts are absorbed like rain drops hitting desert floor
i scream at the top of my lungs WHY ME?! WHY ME?!!
and as i realize there is no one there to answer me
i sit and grin, a smirk if u will
a feeling long ago forgotten, yet still so familiar
creeps upon me
and i dont even know i'm crying until i taste the salty kiss of tears
as the burden my face once again
...and now i know how it feels to fall in and out of feeling.
to not be so surprised when i at last have a new grip on this, then suddenly lose it all.
i get into the state of mind that everything is a dream and can be re-done.
i'm living in an innocence that has long ago left me behind.
but as time passes and so do i, i can only hope that nothingness evolves into something
and that this empty hole in this thing called a chest
will once again be filled with the one thing i long to feel again
my own heartbeat
i'm wandering aimlessly again
this idle mind has been over worked, over stressed, but not over exaggerated
countless times i've sat in a corner
weighing the thought of suicide against the thought of sleep
both will only bring me temporary relief
but i am a coward, a spineless fool
too wrapped up in his own convoluted words and trivial thoughts
yet still i stand, and push onward on shaky legs that will only carry me so far
God exists today, and then not tomorrow,
I sit and pray that the so called plan that i am told has been made for me
has not been lost and forgotten like the refill you order but never seem to receive.
so pleaz tell me that this makes sense, because i honestly cant tell which way is up
this is not a cry for counsel
nor is it a plea for sympathy from you
it is a simple revalation that subtly screams
"hey dude, i've got problems too."